June 27, 2016
Attended a wedding of two CIS friends this past weekend….It was a amazing. Outdoor wedding, weather was perfect, sunny, not too hot. Small event, about 30 people, family and close friends. Bride was absolutely stunning!!! and sooooo happy! Family was so warm and welcoming to friends of the couple. I had several wonderful conversations over dinner. I had no issues. They did not know I am trans, so either I “pulled it off” or they were too classy to say anything…either way, don’t care. We all had a great time.
Although, it was a bit funny as the brother of the bride was hitting on me at various times throughout the afternoon and evening…..That was certainly a first! My friend that I went to the wedding with noticed and it, as did the bride, apparently, I found out later. Actually, it’s quite humorous…..
Just happy that I was invited and able to attend on their special day. They are such a wonderful couple….
June 24, 2106
This past Tuesday, I did an in-service at my daughter’s old high school for the faculty and staff regarding Transgender issues. They already knew a lot of my story, so it was more around how to prepare to be better able to serve students (as well as staff and faculty) who identify as transgender. So we are now starting to get organized on preparing positive spaces, washrooms and change room policies to protect transgender students. Fortunately, the residences are already equipped and designed to easily accommodate transgender students, so that will make things much easier. They have to revise their uniform policy to allow students to where any form of the uniform they feel best matches their gender identity. That’s not a big issue, just changing a few words here and there to make it more inclusive and non-discriminatory. So I will “lawyer” that all up. This is all to say that the reception was extremely positive. The atmosphere was clearly accepting, and wanting to make changes and prepare for when a student identifies as trans. As the headmaster stated, it is not a matter of if, but of when. Good to see that they asked me to speak to them and to help them out. They are clearly wanting to be proactive vs reactive. Good on them!!!
June 15, 2016
Had a lovely chat with my brother and sister the other evening on FaceTime. It was really great to see them! My brother shared his experience at a meeting in his company that occurred last Friday. It was about diversity in the work place, and included a section on Transgender. He was all over that, including sharing my story and my life before and after my transition with the group, and how he accepted and supports me through all of it. I was very touched. He certainly did not need to do that, but he wanted everyone to know his sister is trans, and it is the best thing ever.
I am very fortunate!
June 9, 2016
Another first for me….yesterday, the women in my department took me out for dinner and drinks after work to welcome me “to their side of the aisle” so to speak. Ha ha. It was very sweet of them to do that!! About 25 women showed up, with another 10 that contacted my personally so state they would have loved to attend, but couldn’t make it. Anyway, it was a blast! They were so warm and sincere in their conversations with me and we had some good laughs as well. It was quite clear that they do not see me as a trans woman, just a woman. No bathroom issues with them, and the conversation just flowed. They, at least to me, appeared to be at ease. So, looks like some of the biggest hurdles have been cleared?? Early days yet, and somethings may bubble to the surface, but we will deal with them as they arise.
I am so fortunate…..
June 7, 2016
As one can imagine….I have found it difficult to capture the last few days in words. But will attempt it, while at the same time, trying not to be a babbling idiot!!
It is, as many of you can attest from your own lives, a very long journey. But finally, finally, I made it through to the other side. I am now full time, 24/7 everywhere with everyone. At it feels GREAT! The months of planning paid off. Execution on the few remaining fronts was flawless. For the most part, due to the determination of so many working behind the scenes on my behalf. I am the most senior person in my organization to transition, so they took it upon themselves to make sure we really got this right. Now, does that mean we all thought of everything, nope. Did we miss a few things. Yup. But we nailed all the critical things and the things we missed were pretty minor. I am not loosing any sleep over those. They will get addressed, no one will notice, and we move on.
The sense of relief is unbelievable. Done. Now I can focus on getting on with my life, doing my job, being with friends and family and continuing in my volunteer activities etc. The duality is gone. As we all know, this transition stuff is ridiculously some hard crap to wade through. Ask anybody who has done it and is completely full time in their correct gender. It sure as hell ain’t for the feint of heart!! I have lost count of the times when it had knocked me down. But bloody and/or bruised, I somehow found the strength each time to get back up, mostly due to the support of family and friends. But however I managed it, I did it. And it was so worth it! Every speed bump, detour, road block and occasional slip into a ditch made me a stronger person. Mine, like so many, if not all, was not an easy journey. But I have no regrets. That is a waste of my energy. I’m done looking in the rearview. Where will the road take me? Great question. Not sure. All I know is that I have the top down, tunes on and just enjoying the ride.
June 6, 2016
First day at work as my authentic self! Here we go, full time everywhere for ever!! It was an amazing, emotional day! So many people stopped in with flowers, cards or just to give me a hug! Here’s how it all fell into place:
I left work on Thursday at 3:00. The notice about me from both the overall head of my department and me hit at 3:01. I am was off the next day, Friday, to give people a chance to have their “OMG” and “WTF” moments without worrying about running into me. It also gave them an opportunity to speak with their supervisors if they had any questions, all of whom were brought up to speed a few days prior. I had about 20 one-on-one conversations with them all to let them know what was going on. All, every single one of them, were 1000% supportive! Anyway, the notice also included a recent picture of me so that they wouldn’t be trying to imagine what I look like.
Starting at about 15 minutes after the email dropped, my in box was flooded with very positive, supportive and compassionate replies. It was so heart warming!! I was a mess, in a good way!!
So, now onward with the rest of my life!!
June 2, 2106
Okay…this is getting real, really fast. I’m getting ready to walk out of my office in a few minutes for the last time as the old me. Our CFO just dropped in and said goodbye to male me. A little teary……but all good. All so very, very good!!!