July 28, 2016
Just got an email from a student in an MBA program who came to me a short time ago to get my input on an idea of designing a line of professional clothing for Transwomen, that addresses size and unique fit issues. The team presented the idea in a new ventures pitch competition and they won the competition! Good for them, very cool. So they have asked me to be on their advisory board as they get ready to move forward with their venture. This could be fun!
July 26, 2016
Had an interesting conversation with a colleague at work this afternoon, a woman who is scary smart, warm, kind and just a really nice person, for whom I have a great deal of respect. Anyway, she wanted to know how I was doing and how my transition was going. After a bit, she stated that the level of acceptance of me in our company made her proud to be associated with it. She said there has been no gossiping or “blow back” in the hallways that she is aware of and she is so impressed with how everyone has accepted it as the new normal for me and moved onto the rest of the lives. (I also heard that this morning as well from another colleague). Anyway, she said that she knows this is not always the case. Someone that she knew at her former organization in the Southern US was treated horribly outside the company. So she knows how bad it can be. She is grateful and happy for me, that this is not the case for me. She is also familiar with one of my volunteer organizations and was speaking to the head of that a month or so ago, and she was also impressed at how it was no big deal for them either.
I am soooo fortunate…..
July 25, 2016
Had an interesting hit of emotion last night….
Was on a very brief video call with some awesome women who I am so lucky and proud to call my friends. They were gathered at a friends house for dinner. They were having an amazing time. I really wished I could go, but stuck at work….day number 24 straight, with first day off Aug 9. Anywho….
After the call, I was quite overcome with sadness…..I so wished I could have been there. I have my tribe in my town via my support group, but there are no professional women and very few who have transitioned to full time. Which is why they are there, to get support. I now find my role is more to be supportive than receive support. Which is fine, I am very happy to do that. And, don’t get me wrong, I have made a few really good friends there, two women in particular who are both post SRS and the facilitators of the group, so I relate more with them. But as for the others, they are such desperate need of support, and have so many struggles including financial, that I don’t feel I can be myself around them. I constantly have to make sure that I dress down, don’t show any sign of affluence or success, so they can relate. It’s hard sometimes. The women at the dinner party are much more my tribe….not that we are all in the same financial boat etc, we are not, but for the most part, we are just getting on with our lives as women. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain….just me rambling inside my head I guess…..oh well….
July 23, 2016
I think I am learning and start to get the hang of all of this….
I was out with a good friend of mine last night, we did a bit of shopping and then decided to go for a drink. We went to the closest place, a family restaurant. Well, the place was packed, even the patio. But since we were only there for drinks, we were quite happy to sit at the bar. Found two seats together, at the end, by a respectable looking, middle aged gentleman. We ordered our drinks and were talking, when he turns to me and starts talking to me, stating that he really likes those drinks too, pointing to what I am drinking. This banter continues on and off for the next hour or so, with him interjecting into the conversation when there was a lull between my friend and I – which to be honest, isn’t often, as we always have something to talk about. Anyway on the way out, I asked my friend if she thought he was flirting a bit, sort of chatting me up. She said, “oh, totally”. But It wasn’t creepy, he was very respectful, articulate, etc. So I didn’t feel creeped out, but at least now I am starting to recognize when this happens to me. I didn’t have the heart to tell him “this dog don’t hunt” as he was very gracious, but ugh….I’m so not into all of this….
July 17, 2016
Had a surprise visit from my youngest daughter this weekend. It was so great to see her! We had a chance to get together a few times over the course of the weekend, and caught up on what’s going on in each other’s lives….just some really good quality time to chat! I asked her flat out how she was doing with me and she said she is all good, has adapted and happy to move forward as we are. So it would appear we have finally found the “new normal” of our relationship, and quite honestly, not much has changed! We still talk about the same things, (mostly…some new “girl talk” topics), and laugh and joke around much like we did before.
So when all is said and done….we are fine. It just took her a year or so to get there. I gave her as much time as I could and didn’t force it, and in the end that worked for the best as she got to where she needed to be on her own. I have great kids!!!!
July 13, 2016
Just had a very interesting meeting with an MBA student who is looking to start her own business designing custom made clothes for women with size issues that are simple, classic, comfortable that make women feel good about how they look and how they feel. She wanted my input as a transwoman to see what issues I have in shopping and if this would also be something that I would be interested in. Good discussion, and ended up with her realizing that it wasn’t just an issue for transwomen, but women in general, of which I am one. So she dropped that distinction and reframed her idea to be for all women, in a welcoming, accepting environment, to provide support and service to all women with “fit” challenges, to commit to making them look great and feel great in their clothes regardless of size or body issues.
So, not really a trans issue, but it was nice that realized that many transwomen do have issues finding clothes that fit properly due to body issues, and wanted to make sure she had that input, and now sees it as an issue for all women. It was an interesting chat. She wants to meet again as she develops the idea for my input, so this could be a fun project!?!?
July 12, 2016
Yesterday I had the privilege of having lunch with a good friend from this form. I met Marcelle yesterday for lunch in Ottawa after my endo appointment. It was so good to be able to chat with her in person. I was/am so impressed with her. She is even more authentic in person than on the forum. Totally comfortable in her own skin, knows who she is and very grounded. I wish I was that solid!!
Anyway, we had a great chat about everything and anything, sharing our stories, our families and struggles, as well as successes. 2.5 hours later, we parted ways as better friends. Definitely the best part of my drive to Ottawa!
July 11, 2016
Had a surprise visit yesterday (Sunday) from two friends from Montreal. I have known them for 20 years and love them dearly. We have literally travelled all over the world together, had some great adventures and worked on several projects together for the Department of Foreign Affairs. Anywho, while they knew about me, it was the first time to see me. They were flabbergasted, but in a good way…ha ha. We went out to dinner and then a movie, and it was like we never missed a beat! on a side note, the movie was amazing! It was a silent movie, with a live organist doing the sound track. It was a romantic comedy filmed in 1926. Hilarious! We had a great time.
It is so nice to have great friends to hang out with…..
July 7, 2016
Met with my lawyer yesterday around some divorce documents. That took about 5 minutes, then spent the rest of the hour just yakking (yes, it was off the clock). Not only is she the best divorce attorney in the city, but a friend. Anyway, since my coming out to her about a year ago, and working with her on my divorce, she has started to work with other partners in the firm to make their entire practice LGBT friendly, with recent emphasis on the T. While it is the largest firm in my city, we are a small city, so only 30 lawyers. (contrast that with my daughters law firm – she is 1 of 300 lawyers, just in her Toronto office alone). Anywho, the point is, this can help to shape the practices of other firms. All of their washrooms are now gender neutral. They have LGBT “positive space” stickers on the appropriate office and meeting space doors. Now, she is looking to include that on all the advertising and promotional material as well as get their firm listed on LGBT supportive services listing on the city’s and other service listing sites. She may also arrange for me to do an “in-service” for the lawyers and staff at the firm sometime in the fall.
It is one thing to have a friend that is supportive, but another to have an ally for LGBT, especially the “T” ! I have two other friends that are partners at the firm as well. I had the opportunity to bump into one in the lobby area while waiting for my lawyer, and she came over and gave me a big hug, sat down beside me and we chatted for a few minutes. All in a full waiting area of clients.
It was a great way to spend some time. And you can’t often say that when you are meeting with a lawyer!!!
July 2, 2106
Had a great Canada Day!! Attended our annual block party/BBQ for Canada with all the neighbours and guests. Had a great time catching up with everyone and had so many laughs! Then went to watch the fireworks with other friends later in the evening. Came back and the core group of my neighbours were still sitting out chatting, so went back to join them. We chatted for hours, until 1:30 a.m. No issues, non, nada. In the end, one of the guys gave me a big hug. It was surprising and very heart warming. I am sooooo lucky!!
Happy Canada Day……and Happy 4th of July!