Earlier today I had a regularly scheduled session with my gender therapist. One hour later, she declared that we were done. She has taken me as far as she can and I am “good to go”. I was taken aback for a few moments, then realized what she was saying. It was both a happy and sad moment for me. You see, I have been with her for two years. It would be a severe understatement to say that I couldn’t have done this without her.
Okay, I could have done it with her, but no where near as quickly or as successfully as I have. Not a chance. She has been doing this for 30 years. She has been training other therapist and family doctors to do assessments in my province for years. She is nothing short of amazing. The best thing she did for me was hold my feet to the fire. She could smell BS in a heart beat and was able to push me to see the truth both in what I say and what was going on around me. She protected me from myself. And that, my friends is not an easy task. At all.
She was there when things were rough and I was not doing great. She made sure that I wasn’t beating myself up, provided coping strategies that kept me going and kept my head above water. On the other hand, she was there when things were going really well and made sure that I stayed grounded, and didn’t get too full of myself. For me, it truly was a roller coaster ride emotionally, and she was there every step of the way. I was so fortunate that I had the opportunity to work with her.
A major take away is that everyone going through this should have someone like this as a resource. Thinking you can do this on your own without an objective, well trained professional can be misguided. I’m not saying that it is mandatory and everyone has to do this. I will say that for me it certainly made sure that I was ready for each step along the way. It certainly set me up for success, no question. I initially thought I was strong enough to do it on my own, but so glad I didn’t. Fortunately I was able to park my ego, thinking I knew what was best. Not a chance. There was no amount of “research” on the internet that could equal her counsel. You can’t self teach yourself to be an expert, at least not in a short period of time, i.e. 2 years.
So it was my time to move on. And I do so with a great deal of confidence in who I am and my abilities. She also would like me to be a resource for her patients that live in my city. Just to be someone to provide them with information on local resources, and just meet with them for coffee etc. To be someone they can meet with and just chat about my experience. Of course I said yes. So many did that for me in my town, that I am happy to pay it back.
This may all appear to be something minor, but for me, it was a milestone. Another box checked off. But the reality is that I will miss our conversations, her compassion and her wit, and her ability to whack me upside the head when I needed it! And we all need that! 😉
Time for me to fly.