Finally, after a month from hell…I have resolution and can now breath. So what the hell am I talking about? I just got the results from a biopsy done three weeks ago. Yes, THREE WEEKS! What a sh!t show that was. OMG. Due to genetics, and no other reason (thanks Dad!!) I am tested regularly for cancer. This time they really wanted to take a really good look, so to speak. And low and behold, they did find something. So they took a biopsy. Then more fun and games. I guess it takes some time to do the test and get results back. Then the surgeon’s office was closed, and then he was away, blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile, I’m left hanging. And that is not a good place for my furry little brain to be. Add on to that the stress leading up to the procedure and it’s been well over a month of “ick”.
The very few people that new, such as my sister (to whom I tell EVERYTHING) said it is probably nothing, and I’m fine. In fact the surgeon said he was “hopeful”. Ya, well, they’ve been wrong before. And if passed experience is any indicator of future experience, well, let’s just say there was precedence for my concern. This was deja vu, all over again.
You see, over a year and a half ago, I was in a similar circumstance. I was in quite a bit of discomfort with some chest pain. But only chest pain, no other symptoms at all. To be safe, they did a stress test. Nothing conclusive. So, they did another stress test. Nothing really conclusive. In fact, the cardiologist told me to keep on doing my 5km runs, I was fine, it was “probably nothing”. However, just to be safe, they ordered yet another test, an angiogram. And that’s when it all hit the fan.
When they were doing the diagnostic, they went and got a cardiac surgeon while I was still on the table and hooked up to everything. Within minutes of the surgeon reviewing the results (photos, etc) he looked at me and said. “Oh dear….you aren’t going to make it through the night. In fact, I’m surprised you are still alive!”. Not at all, at all, what I was expecting. And I don’t think anyone else was expecting it either. So within minutes, I was rushed to the cardiac intensive care unit, but on thinners, sedated and prepped for surgery. Long story short is that it was totally successful and I’m fine. It was totally genetic (once again, thanks Dad) and everything now is better than before.
But there in lies the reason for my mild panic. Okay, maybe not so mild. I get nervous when they say “it’s probably nothing”. Cuz experience has taught me different. So to everyone who didn’t know, I apologize. I know there are a bunch of people that are ticked I didn’t tell them what was going on. But that is how I needed to deal with it. My daughters didn’t even know. I didn’t want people to be concerned if there was nothing to be concerned about. So until results were in, I didn’t want to go down that road.
The last thing I needed was to have people dote over me, and mother me. That is the very last thing I need. I needed as much normalcy in my life as I could get. Particularly as my life has been anything but normal for the past number of years. I am really liking my “new normal” and have settled into a wonderful life. I survived previous health issues. A second chance. I have transitioned to my authentic self and started a new life. A new beginning. I have survived a serious threat to my health a while ago. Another new chance. And now this. I dodged a bullet, been given the all clear, almost like yet again another chance. Here’s hoping I don’t have to go back to that well again, cuz even cats only have nine lives!! Ha ha. So, it’s all good. I’m back, ready to re-engage with the world and the wonderful people in it.
Just hope you are all ready for it!!! 😉