I was speaking with a friend of mine from work the other day, and she asked me a question that I actually get asked a lot. She asked if I had any regrets that I didn’t transition earlier in life. Seeing and knowing how absolutely happy I am now, do I wish I had transition earlier? Short answer is “no”. But long answer is a somewhat qualified “no”. Let me explain.
Knowing what I know now, would I have preferred to transition sooner? Absolutely! To be this happy, much sooner in life, who wouldn’t be? And I think that a lot of people that transition wish they could have done it earlier. I also know that I am a bit envious of people who have transitioned who are much younger than me as they get to live more of their life as their authentic self. But that is not productive and a waste of energy. Happy for them, but I move on.
Here is the qualified part. If I would have transitioned earlier, what would my life be like? Would I have be able to achieve all that I have? What about my family? How would my daughters have turned out not having a “father” so to speak, in their developmental years? Would I be in another relationship now? What would that look like? So many variables, so many unknowns.
What I do know is how things are right now. My daughters are amazing young women, both successful in their own space. I am comfortable with my life and have a great deal of personal and financial stability. I have great friends. And I am happy. Not only happy, but through to my core, content with my life happy. Oh sure, there are always some things that I wish were different, but those are pretty much minor and “first world” problems, and I don’t dwell on them. Or least try not too. Sometimes I do loose control a bit when my brain goes for a wander without and adult in charge.
So, do I have regrets about waiting? Nope! I at least have had the luxury of transition and to experience my true self. For some, for whatever reason, they never get that opportunity. And that is sad. Really sad. It does have a way of putting things into perspective. And the one thing I promised myself when I was given a second chance at life over a year ago, that I was going to live my life. My true life. I didn’t want to be lying on my death bed thinking “what if…?”. So while there really is no “good time” to transition, it was clearly in my mind, my time. So right or wrong, I did it.
Life’s too short…