WTF! Really?? More trans than me….more trans?? Seriously! What the hell does that even mean? This came up as a brief discussion at a gathering recently of my support group. Now, let me set the record straight right now. This was not something said to me, or about me, or about anyone else there. It was a comment that someone was recounting from another conversation with another individual at another time.
What a load of crap…I mean really. How can someone be “more trans”? And what does that even mean? Is it because you are living full time, you are more trans than someone who hasn’t gotten there yet? You have had surgeries, and someone else hasn’t. You are more trans than them? You are blessed with good genes and HRT results and you pass….ugh….no, wait. I hate that word. Let’s try….assimilate… flawlessly into society and the gender you identify with. You are more trans than those that don’t?
I just don’t get it. Everyone who is on this journey, is in a different place, and with a different destination in mind. I was first diagnosed with gender dysphoria 19 years ago. I identified as trans internally, but for 17 years following my gender expression was still out of whack (and I paid the price via psychological trauma). But was I less trans? I may have felt that way because my self confidence and self esteem were in the sewer. But in reality, it was more likely that I was envious of those that were able to have that congruity that I so desperately needed. But was I less trans?
How can we present a united front when there are still struggles with our community? What purpose does it serve? Now more than ever, especially in the current political climate, we need to stick together. To support one another. To help all those who suffer from with dysphoria feel like they belong. That they have a tribe. It doesn’t mean you have to love everyone, or even like everyone, within the community. I am totally guilty of that. There are those in my community that I may not like, but not because they are trans, just because we can’t seem to get along personally. I may not be able to relate to them very well. But I respect them. I listen, try to provide some help or guidance if needed. Doesn’t mean I have to go to dinner with them etc. I’m flawed, I realize that.
I guess it just bothers me. Maybe I’m just a single voice, whispering into the wind…..?
I hope not.