I’m discovering that there really is something special between sisters. And it’s hard to describe, unless you are, and have, a sister. That’s me. I am a sister. That sort of just hit me the other night. Ironically enough, when I was talking to my own sister. I have always had a sister. Now, she does to. I am a sister. I am her sister. What’s the big deal you ask? Well, actually, it is a big deal. It’s a big deal to me. And happy to say, it is a big deal to her as well.
While we had a sibling relationship prior to my transition, it was not very strong. Don’t get me wrong, it was good, just not, well, great. At least I don’t think it was. But that is my perspective, which, prior to transition was not a great perspective to have. How to you feel you provide or bring value to a relationship when you don’t feel you have any value? That was my existence for decades. And that just sucks. But, that is all part of the fun when you suffer from Gender Dysphoria. Thankfully, that is done!
We have, what I would deem to be, nothing short of an amazing relationship. We talk at least twice a week by phone, for at least an hour at a time. We talk about everything and nothing. We vent, we share, we disclose our secrets, and we laugh. A lot! It is so much fun, but also so comforting to me to know she is there. She is always there. Just as I am for her. I love spending time together, and actually wish we didn’t live so far apart. No one should be in a different time zone than their sister. I don’t know what it is, but all I know is that it is amazing and I’m so thankful!
I am also a sister to my brother. Something he has had to adjust to I’m sure. But from what I can see, adjusted so quickly and lovingly, it is a beautiful thing. As it is with his family as well. Our relationship is stronger than it was, but it is also different. At least for me, because I am now more engaged, and honestly, feel that I am worth engaging. And I’m sure he is probably adjusting to no longer having a little brother. Though I wasn’t much of one I’m sure.
I wish I could have that conversation with him. Actually, I wish I could have that conversation with his wife as well. She is so cool, and I have always admired her. We just never seem to be able to connect that often. My bad. I know they are supportive of me, and supporting of me. I would just like to elevate our relationship, while I can. Not to be morbid, but I have already had one life threatening event, and that really has a way of putting your priorities right up in your grill, so to speak. When I do get down to their corner of the world, it is awesome to see them, which also includes as much of the family that is around. It’s great to see my nieces and nephews and catch up on all the wonderful things they are doing and see them grow up and live in the adult world. But I never had a really good chance to connect, or should I say re-connect, with my Brother and my sister-in-law.
Maybe there isn’t a need…from their point of view they are good, and have moved on. Maybe I’m the one that needs closure on not being a brother, such as I was. And I am certainly not looking to spend hours conversing about me. That’s not the point. It’s more a case of talking about us, how they really feel. What are the “sticky” points, if any? To really make sure we are all okay and can move on…together. ‘Cause that is what families do. At least that is what I want for my family.
Being a sister is different. It’s better, at least from my perspective. I just hope I can live up to the responsibility.