A few days ago, a very good friend of mine underwent Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS). A reason for celebration if there every was one! Thrilled for her, honestly. I was however of mixed emotion. While I was so very excited for her, I also was a bit jealous. Okay fine…very jealous! I can’t wait for my date, which I am hoping will be sometime this fall. Regardless, I am so ready for my surgery, it can’t come fast enough. But at least it’s coming (barring any unanticipated complications etc.).

As I sit and reflect on all of this, I note that motivations for us within the trans community, may widely vary. Yes, we are all on a similar journey, heading towards a similar end goal. And note that I say “similar” and not “identical” journey. That’s because all of our journeys do differ in some form or fashion. As do our motivations. 

Regarding GCS, there are differences in reasoning and desires. Example. For my friend, her motivation, as I understand it, was to have the addition of something to her physical being. This, she feels is necessary to make her fell complete. The lack of this anatomical feature (a vagina – there, I said it !) is what, for her, was driving a lot of her dysphoria. For me, the motivation is quite different. My motivation is more about the removal of something from my physical body. The Penis and testicles have got to go. End result the same. Pathway to get there, pretty much the same. But motivations? Not so much. We have both waited for this for so very long. So I’m very happy for her, but chomping at the bit for my turn. 

That is why it is dangerous to paint everyone within the LGBTQ community (or any community for that matter) with the same brush. While we have so much in common, we are still very much individuals. And rightfully so. Let’s not loose sight of that. Celebrate your uniqueness. You are who you are. Comparisons are not helpful. Don’t despair if your motivations differ. Similarly, be accepting those who do differ. It’s what makes our world interesting. 

In those immortal words: “Vive la difference”!


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