This morning, during what can best described as my usual morning cloudy state of mind, I did manage to absorb the content of a story on the radio regarding a very brave 16 year old girl. The story was about how local law enforcement came together to allow her one of her wishes on her “bucket list”. You see, the young woman has leukaemia. And it is back, with a vengeance, she’s out of remission. She has made the decision to not go through another round of chemo given the likelihood of success is very marginal. So, she only has months left. Brave girl!. My heart goes out to her an her family. I totally get it. I do. She gave it her all, and now has her dignity intact.
I recall having conversations with my therapist around such a topic. I have distinct recollections prior to my transition of discussions about how I felt if I was to be inflicted with a fatal illness. I would simply let it takes its course, ending what was at the time, a pathetic attempt at having a life. Now, having transitioned, the discussions have changed, dramatically.
We returned to that topic about 6 months ago. I think she wanted to see if my views changed and how I saw my transition. My response was quick and to the point. Now, I would fight like hell ! My life is amazing. I am so worth it. I value every breath I take and I appreciate the wonderful gift I have been given. Not just to survive, but to thrive, being who I am. I may be small, I may not know much, I may not be physically strong, but I make my little corner of the world a better place to be. I firmly believe that. My firmware has been updated and version 2.0 is here. (that’s for all my geeky followers!! ) 😉
If, god forbid, I was now inflicted with a life ending illness, I would take great comfort in the fact that I at least had some time on this earth to be my authentic self. To experience the joy, the peace and the beauty of being me. No regrets. Conversely, I would never ever forgive myself if I didn’t stand on up on my hind legs and transition, and instead of roaring to the world that I have arrived, continue to hide in my little cave that I constructed around myself.
Life’s short and your dead a long time. I made my decision, and never regretted it….not for a nano second. I wish everyone in my community the same opportunity. Be good to you. Enjoy life.