“Much of human life is lost in waiting” I wish I could recall where I read or heard that. How true. We (the trans community) are all waiting. For different things at different times. For me, is was a major part of my life, and still is to a certain degree. The biggie was waiting to decide what to do with my life. Survive and transition or….well, you can probably guess the alternative.
I was waiting, and I dare to venture a guess that the majority of people in the trans community were, or are, waiting, for the right time to transition. Well, guess what. There isn’t. If was to wait for the perfect time, I would still be waiting. No matter what, there is always a cost. We try, best as we can to minimize it. Now, there may be a small majority of people who transition that have had no cost….zero, nadda. And to them, I doff my chapeau. Good for them. But I believe they are the exception, not the norm.
So, we wait. We burn time. Something that you can’t buy. As the old saying goes, “time and tides wait for no man.” We wait. To what end? Why did I wait so long? Well, I had my reasons. We all do. Do I regret waiting so long, to deny myself the opportunity to experience the true happiness and contentment that I now have? I’d be lying if I said no. But I had my reasons. At least I am able to live my true life now. It cost me the loss of my marriage to a truly beautiful person. I miss her….a lot. But I digress.
It is sad, that we have to wait to have something so simple and basic as happiness and fulfillment. For those that feel forced to wait by someone “until the time is right” to transition is very sad. However, I don’t live in their shoes. That is their lives and circumstances, I should not, nor will I, judge.
Even when that hurdle is crossed, we still wait. We wait for access to medical professionals for assessment, we wait to begin HRT. We wait for various surgeries. We wait for name and gender change documents to be processed. We wait for the acceptance of family and friends, if it ever comes. The list is long. Much time lost that we can’t get back. That is truly sad.
“Much of human life is lost in waiting”….Here’s hoping we can change that….even just a little bit.